Hidden Paths

Chapter 2

'You can't imagine how I feel about you'.  That sentence kept echoing in Rumil's mind, over and over again.  He hadn't seen her in a few days, and it seemed like she was trying hard to avoid him.   He missed her terribly. Yes, he missed her, he finally admitted to himself. And it hurt to think back to her reaction when he tried to hug her and she ran away. She ran away from him.  Frightened? Angry? Possibly both, leaving him stunned and confused. And hurt.  He desperately needed to get all of this out of his chest, to release the whirlwind of thoughts that was threatening to drive him insane with regret.  When he saw his brother Orophin sitting alone on the root of a large mallorn he approached him quietly, and sat down without looking at him.  "Can we talk?"

“I knew you would have come to me” smiled wickedly Orophin.  “Why are you so sad?”

Rumil shrugged, and took a deep breath. He continued to avoid his gaze.  "I suppose you know… have you seen her lately?"

“Gilraen?” he asked, knowing the answer.  “Yes, I saw her yesterday. She's fine, I tried to understand what her problem was, but she closed her mind to me. She's good into hiding her secrets. Haldir was the only one who knew all of them.”   At the mention of his beloved brother, Orophin had to stop for a moment, trying to regain his composure.  “What happened between you two?”

"I... I don't know, Orophin." the younger Elf replied, shaking his head, and dared a shy glance at him. "I tried to…well, I tried to hug her, and she made off saying that I can't imagine the way she feels about me. I think she just misunderstood, I didn't mean her any harm."

“Your long list of lovers doesn't help, you know that, don't you?” said his older brother, sighing deeply.  “And I must say that I don't like the idea of you hurting her. Maybe you're just confused by Haldir's death, and you need some comfort. She has cared deeply for you for a long time. Everyone knew; you were the only one that never understood that. I believe she thinks that she can only be a one night stand for you.”

"I do really care about her!" Rumil retorted hotly, "How can you not see that? Why must anyone keep on seeing me that shallow and cold-hearted?"

“You are not shallow and cold-hearted, Rumil” retorted Orophin.  “Calm down! You were just a young, playful elf, and you liked too much the elf maidens, so you've had many lovers. How could you blame her?” he asked, staring intently at his eyes. “If you really care about her, then you'll have to prove that to Gilraen. She's fearless and brave, but she can also be stubborn, so you'll have to try hard.”

"Sure it won't be easy at all," sighed Rumil, "What can I do to persuade her? I'm afraid she won't believe me anyway…"

“You'll see that in your heart. But maybe the Lady could help you. I believe it could be wise to go to her and seek her council,” said Orophin.  Then he stood up, and he flashed a hint of a smile to his brother before he left.

After a while Rumil got on his feet, and briefly gazed at the surroundings. He froze right in place when he saw her approaching from afar, and forced himself to stay absolutely calm. She seemed not to have noticed him yet, so he sat again and waited, almost overcome with terror at the thought of what was about to come.

Gil was walking quietly, on one hand she held her boots, because she loved to feel the fresh grass under her feet.  She froze when she heard a presence in the trees.  Focusing her attention, she noted that Rumil was watching at her.  For the first time after days, she forced herself to watch him back.

The young Elf swallowed and smiled nervously, trying to control the urge to just flee and avoid that frightening yet necessary confrontation.  "It's been a while" he said when Gilraen was close enough to hear him, smiling faintly.

“I've been busy,” she answered, but suddenly she noticed that she had been too rude.  “I'm sorry. I should have come to you…”

"I was just… just concerned," he said, and then he stood to face her, nibbling nervously at his bottom lip. What should he say?  "You misunderstood. I didn't mean to frighten you or take advantage of… the situation."

“Yes, maybe I misunderstood,” Gilraen admitted, looking into his eyes.  “I think I was just…nervous, all those news overwhelmed me,” she lied, hoping he wouldn't read her mind.

Rumil nodded, his eyes never leaving her. Then he took a deep breath, stepped forward and set his hands on her shoulders.  "I really care about you, Gil."

Just like a little sister… She smiled sadly, but didn't move. “I know that.”

"No, you don't. You can't even imagine how deeply I care." he replied, looking intently at her.

“Rumil, I know how you feel after Haldir's death...so, let's just be friends for the moment. You might do something you'll regret,” she muttered, avoiding his gaze.

He gently turned her face so that he could look straight into her eyes, and whispered, "I don't want a one night stand. Can you trust me, just for once? Can you at least try?"

She just nodded, unable to speak, because she knew that her voice was hoarse.

"Alright then" he smiled, sighing with relief and lightly squeezing her shoulders as he did so, "If the practice field proposal is still effective, we should go there tomorrow. What do you think? Shall I ask Orophin to join us?"

Thinking that staying with Orophin would be safer for her, she smiled, and nodded again.

“I'll prepare my weapons, and I'll be waiting on my talan."  Then she kissed his forehead ad looked into his blue eyes.  “See you tomorrow,” she whispered, and then she was gone, walking towards her talan, anxious to stay alone, unable to think clearly.

That night Rumil barely slept, too nervous with anticipation to be able to get a decent slumber. He couldn't help but thinking about her and picturing her smile every time he closed his eyes, over and over again, and every time he found himself smiling as well. A dumb, love-struck smile. The kind of smile that lovers give each other while lost in their flawless world, where birds always sing and a bright sun always shines.  He chuckled despite himself and took his quiver and bow, greeting the cool morning air and the rising sun with another of his happy-go-lucky smiles.

Gilraen woke up eary that morning, and was preparing her long knives when she saw Rumil and Orophin approaching her.  “Quel amrun,” greeted Orophin bowing his head, and he lightly brushed his lips on her forehead.

“Good morning, Orophin!” she smiled at him, standing up and taking all her weapons.

Rumil greeted her with a reverent bow, smirking, then took hold of her arm as they set out for the practice field.  "Did you sleep well, little one?"

“Sure, my lord,” she giggled.

Orophin was watching intently and he smiled at his self.   “It seems that my brother is really happy today. Why are you so exuberant, Rumil?” he asked, knowing the answer.

The young Elf arched an eyebrow.  "Maybe I'm just pleased about being able to spend a little time with my big brother and my little one ." he replied shrugging nonchalantly, but still smirking.  By the time they reached the field, the warm sunlight was beginning to peep through the high tangle of branches above their heads, and the birds were already chirping to greet the new day.

Unfortunately, it had become more difficult for Gilraen to remain quite as detached as she'd intended.  Something about Rumil made her proposed indifference impossible.  Yet even though he drew her, she sought to pull away. He was not ready. Nor was her.  The practice area was fairly large, situated on the forest floor near the southern edge of the city.  Targets had been set up at various distances, some completely beyond the range of any human archer, but there were others that were quite close.  When they had prepared everything, Gilraen tended her bow, and Orophin noticed that she was impatient to use it.

“You see that target down there?”  He indicated the one he was talking about with his hand.  “That is an Orc.  Put three arrows into him right now, as quickly as you can.”

Concentrating hard, Gil drew an arrow from her quiver, sent it soaring, and repeated the action two more times.  Each arrow found its mark directly in the center of the target.  Pleased, she glanced at Rumil to see his reaction, her pulse quickening despite her resolve to remain aloof.

"Well…" he mumbled, raising his eyebrows in amazement, "you're making this quite difficult for me, little one."

Seeing how Orophin was enjoying his bewilderment he decidedly wielded his bow, grinning all the while and then he looked straight into Gilraen's eyes.  "Four arrows. Right in the centre of that target. Can you see it?" he said, pointing at the target next to the one already pierced with her arrows, "Consider it a challenge, my lady. If I succeed, you have to hit the centre five times."

“She's a galadhrim, Rumil,” smiled Orophin. “It's not difficult for her to hit the target, can you remember how many hours Haldir spent to train her?”

“Let me see what can you do, Rumil” grinned Gilraen. “But what if we change the target?”

And she indicated another target, farther than the first one.

"Very well." he nodded resolutely, tightening the grip on his bow. He concentrated as hard as he could manage on the target, narrowing his eyes, and then quickly drew an arrow from his quiver. Centre. A few heartbeats later his four arrows were standing proudly right in the centre of the target. And he was jubilant, to say the least.   "That's it, four hits! Go me!"

“That's an interesting challenge,” murmured Orophin wickedly. “But…what if the loser has to kiss the winner? As a prize?”

At those words, Gilraen blushed lightly, avoiding Rumil's eyes, waiting for his answer.

Would he kiss her?

On his part, the young Elf  looked quite alarmed.  "Wha--.. what to you mean 'kiss the winner'?" he wanted to know, shifting his gaze to a grinning Orophin, "I mean.. just a quick peck or… well… a real kiss ?"

“A true kiss , of course! We are all adults, I think you can manage to do it. What do you think Gil?” he asked, studying her expression.

“Oh…well yes, it's not… a problem for me” she answered, a little uncomfortable.

"Alright" Rumil nodded, then smirked in an attempt to ease the tension. "I'm lucky I didn't challenge you, Orophin. I'd really hate to kiss you."

“Don't worry, I've plenty of she-elves ready to kiss me, my dear brother” he chuckled, watching intently the two of them together. They were a wonderful couple.  Gilraen aimed her bow, and with a swift movement released the arrow, centring the target.  Then she did it again, and when she was releasing her last arrow, she saw something which looked like a bird, and that was flying around the target. Her concentration was gone and when she looked back, she saw that the arrow wasn't exactly in the centre of the target.

“It's kind of funny how fate manages to control our actions, don't you think?” smiled Orophin.  He was feeling a little guilty, because he hoped that she would fail her task.  She had to kiss him.

Daring a quick glance at Gilraen, Rumil shifted uneasily and cleared his throat though he didn't actually need to. What next? Would she really kiss him?  "Seems like you'll have to kiss the winner , after all." He teased her, a hint of a smile curving his lips despite his embarrassment and a faintly amused glow lightening his blue eyes.

She pushed a lock of hair from her face, studying him intently.  Her breath caught in her throat as his hands settled at her waist.  Slowly, he pulled her closer, seeming in no great hurry to proceed.  He was still watching her, studying her, his blue eyes unwavering and their expression obscure.  She could scarcely breathe.  What was he waiting for?  What were his thoughts?

 Now his head was lowering, his mouth closing on hers, gentle but for a moment, then urgent, demanding.  Many elves had she kissed, many caresses had she known, yet none had warmed her, not like this…not like this.  Then she suddenly pulled away, her breathing ragged, unable to speak.

Trying hard to regain his composure, Rumil merely flashed her a faint smile before turning his attentions to Orophin, who seemed to be quite amused by such a show and wasn't certainly trying to hide it.  "The prize has been paid." he said simply, then bent down to pick up his bow without another word, too upset because of that kiss to even think about easing the atmosphere with one of his wisecracks.

“Oh, well, do you think it would be good if we go to eat something near the river?” asked Orophin, but the elf understood that the two were still reeling from that kiss.  It wasn't just a prize. It was a display of great love, and he'd never seen that tenderness in Rumil.  Gilraen wasn't thinking about Orophin. Her mind was fixed on Rumil, on that kiss that robbed her heart.  But she couldn't be so naïve, that was a simple prize to be paid, and nothing more than that.  Realising that the other elf was waiting for an answer, she simply nodded, even if she hadn't understand the question, and followed him into the deep forest, trying hard to avoid Rumil's gaze.

Nobody spoke along the way. After a few minutes they reached a quite secluded clearing on the riverside, and sat together on the grass. Rumil was oddly quiet and thoughtful, and he didn't dare more than a quick glance at her now and then, as if studying her expression and thus her reaction to that kiss.

For the next weeks, Gilraen and Rumil spent a lot of time together, and they became very close.  She often wondered about that kiss. It was as if all her dreams became true. That moment had meant a lot for her, but she was sure that Rumil didn't love her, in fact they never spoke of that again.  They usually walked without boots, feeling the fresh grass under their feet, smiling at each other.  Almost every night, they stood on the outside of the talan, watching the sky full of stars, and the pale circle of the moon.  She was happy to see that it seem that Rumil was a little better about Haldir's death, and Orophin, too.  Both brothers became closer than before as if sharing their feeling could help them to ease the grief.

On his part, Rumil was utterly pleased to feel his bond with Gilraen getting stronger every day, and to see her search and enjoy his company pleased him even more. By that time he was almost certain to be awfully in love with her. He just couldn't stop thinking and dreaming about her, about how she would make him feel good with just a glance, just a smile, just an affectionate hug. For the first time in his life he was really in love, and thus frightened to death by such strong feelings he'd never experienced before: the thought of doing something wrong and drive her away was pursuing him night and day. Therefore he was carefully avoiding to mention the kiss, and above anything else he was trying hard not to rush things, taking it as slow as he could manage and enjoying their beautiful and renewed friendship.  For the moment.