Bring me to life

Chapter 21

   
 Strolling up and down Boromir’s room, Kreshen was trying to gather her thoughts, mentally repeating what she was going to tell him.

A bright sun penetrated from the huge windows, but she didn’t paid attention to it, not even to draw the wonderful landscape that she could see from there. All of her brain was concentrated on her task.

Sighing softly, she stopped her wandering, putting on a simple green dress and a pair of shoes before walking to the palace, deciding to try and tell it in the most simple of ways. She was now sure of what was happening, and it was time to give him the news.

Outside Boromir’s study, she inhaled a deep breath, releasing it just when she finally felt somewhat relaxed.

"Are you busy?" she awkwardly asked, peering inside, trying to smile.

Boromir was scribbling something, drinking from his mug at the same time, and he didn't even raise his head from the papers. "Very." he replied, trying to do his best to look grave and concentrated on his work. Mere moments and a traitorous, wicked grin was appearing on his face, though. He lifted his head then, grey eyes meeting blue ones, and gestured for her to enter.

"You don't have to ask! Just come in and kiss me breathless immediately."

A somewhat relieved Kreshen closed the door behind her, nearing her husband and kissing his lips in an affectionate way, hinting a smile.

"I need to talk to you. It’s…it’s important" she said then, her expression unreadable.

A suddenly concerned Boromir frowned slightly, looking up at his wife and pulling her closer in order to make her sit on his knees.

"You are well, aren't you?" he whispered, caressing her face and moving a lock of hair behind her ear. "Do not make me worry, Kreshen.."

"I’m…I’m well" she murmured, lowering her gaze and taking a deep breath. "But… what if… what if… our child would be… inside of me…now?"

"N--now?" he asked wide-eyed, a broad smile soon replacing his astonished expression. "You mean.. you.. oh Valar, 'tis wonderful! When did you know?"

"I’ve known it for two months" she told him shyly. "I just wanted to be sure that it was not a fake alarm…but… now I think I’m sure of that…"

"Two months? By the Valar, why didn't you tell me before?" Boromir asked, shaking his head but still smiling nonetheless. "Well, I have to admit that I have enjoyed those two months immensely anyway.. so maybe its better this way, isn't it?"

"I just didn’t want you to be disappointed if I found out that it wasn’t our child…" she finally smiled.

For those two months she had thought about Faramir, too. She had spent all of her nights with Boromir, alone. It had been months that she didn’t sleep with her beloved Faramir, even if when they were alone she pleasured him in other ways, to be faithful to the promise she had made to Boromir, but avoiding makeing the younger brother fell abandoned.

Now that she was sure of what was to come she would have to give him the news. And even if he had never showed any sign, Kreshen was sure that he was upset and felt alone.

But in those months she had had fun with Boromir, indeed. He was always smiling, they made love everywhere all the time time, no matter how hazardous it could be. They just couldn’t restrain their passion.

"I’ve enjoyed this period, too" she whispered, grinning. "But I think that we could have fun for another two months…or something like this. For after that period I’ll have to avoid it to not hurt the baby…"

"We should enjoy the next two months too, then" Boromir chuckled, kissing her cheek. "And we should also give the news to my little brother, don't you think? I'm sure he'll be quite happy to know that from now on he'll be allowed to share our bed again.."

"Yes" she answered, her smile fading while a shadow passed on her fair face.

"It’s just that… I don’t know if he’ll be happy as we are… I’m so afraid to hurt him, Boromir. Everytime that I have to deal with the fact that we are a… threesome... I’m confused. I’m so awfully happy to have this child, your child. But on the other side I don’t want to lose Faramir, and more that everything I don’t want to hurt him. And everytime I tell you something about your brother you’re upset or angry…I just…don’t know".

Boromir sighed, considering her words. He tried hard to imagine how Faramir could feel in that moment, being set aside because of him, but he just couldn't figure it out. He felt just selfish, and guilty. For Faramir had never complained about the situation, not once.

"Do you want to.. to stay alone with him for a while?" he asked, without averting his gaze. "I wouldn't deny it."

"I fear that he will not want my company now…" she whispered sadly, lowering her eyes to the floor, too upset to think that she was going to impose him a great pain.

"Very well. Then I will speak with him." he replied resolutely, urging her to stand up. "I don't want him to feel.. excluded because of me, I want him to understand that he has the same rights as me.. and I think it's better to make the situation clear."

The girl nodded faintly, following him outside, and then returning into the tower, for Faramir was in the stables to take care of his stallion.

She was glad that Boromir would give him the news. For she was feeling guilty and upset. Even if she just needed to feel relaxed now that she was carrying a babe. But she just couldn’t help it.

When Boromir entered the stables his brother was busy grooming Anor, and merely flashed him a glance and a smile before returning to his task.

Not good.

"It's almost dinner time." Boromir said, cursing himself and his lameness right after, propped against the doorframe. He was desperate for something, anything to say to start a conversation. How pathetically clumsy. Luckily enough Faramir smiled again, and nodded rather than ignore him and his uncharacteristic awkwardness.

There was no need to tell it, no. It was clear. Kreshen was pregnant and Boromir didn't know how to tell him.

"I am almost finished here."

"Good" Boromir nodded, but still didn't find anything else to say. Let's take the straight path, then. "Are you upset about something, Faramir?"

"No." the other replied, shaking his head, but still without looking at him. "Why should I be? I am just happy for you two."

"Happy for us? What do you mean?"

Just then Faramir stopped his grooming business, and eventually turned to look at him. "Is that not what you've been looking for?"

He knew? Boromir frowned helplessly as the meaning of his words sunk in, and took a deep breath. "Did she tell you?"

"No. It's just that I know you well enough." Faramir said matter-of-factly, forcing a strained smile. "Congratulations, then."

Great. Now Boromir was sure that something was definitely wrong, if nothing else. And there came the hardest part. How was he going to convince his brother that he wasn't trying to set him aside?

"Faramir.." he began hesitantly, "I--I just wanted to tell you that.. well, that I am not trying to exclude you, not at all. You will have your own baby with her, if you both wish, and I will step aside without complaining exactly as you did. I will allow you all the freedom you need, I promise this to you."

"That's not the point."

"What is it then?"

"I am not angry. I've just.. been feeling a bit lonely lately, that's all."

"I can understand that..." Boromir muttered, sighing. What a fool he had been, to think that Faramir wouldn't have suffered because of them. And he was indeed feeling guiltier than ever in that moment.

"No, you can't." Faramir smiled, standing up and settling the currycomb back in place. "For I am not upset because of you, nor her. I meant it when I said that I'm glad about the news. There is just my selfishness to blame."

"You are not selfish."

"I am, and very much. But what about lunch instead?" the younger man asked, cutting him short and walking out of the stables to make the message even clearer. End of conversation.

The two brothers entered Boromir's room just in time for said meal. Faramir looked quite relaxed despite it all, though he couldn't help but smile nervously when his eyes met Kreshen's. He said nothing about the news, behaving as usual as they sat around the table like everyday.

Sighing softly, the girl merely glanced at her husband, before concentrateing on her meal, eating maybe just a few potatoes, but without a real interest. For she wasn’t hungry anymore.

"Did you tell father about the news?" Faramir asked suddenly.

"Not yet. I will tell him tonight, he wants us to dine with him."

"He will be very happy about that." the younger man replied quietly with a smile, no trace of irony in his words. He meant it. And he was happy, too, for his brother and Kreshen, knowing all too well what having that baby meant to them. But at the same time he was too selfish, or at least he thought so, to rejoice the news thoroughly.

Kreshen continued to play with the food on her plate, not even aware of the worried glances that Boromir was giving her, or of the chat that had taken place between them. Her head ached and she was feeling somewhat sick. She could remember that when her mother was pregnant of her baby sister, she had always nausea. Now it was happening to her.

Trying to stand up to run into the bathroom, the girl noticed too late that her knees didn’t have the strength to sustain her, and she passed out, her head spinning and her stomach clenching.

"Damn."

No need for other words, and the two brothers were already taking her to the bed, settling her limp body on the soft mattress.

"Do you think we should cover her? Or--or.. I don't know.. what are we supposed to do now?" Faramir asked worriedly, glancing at his likewise worried brother. "I'm going to call the healer."

"No, I'll go." Boromir replied promptly, "Stay with her, and reassure her someway if she wakes up. She needs you, too."

Before Faramir could say anything else the other was already hurrying towards the door, and the only thing he could do was take one of Kreshen's hands into his. Hoping that everything was going to be fine.

Mere moments later, the girl opened her eyes, humming softly, and hissing when she felt a sting of pain from her head.

Her view was blurred, and she was still feeling sick, but she had recognized the man who was standing at her side.

"Faramir" she murmured in a raspy voice, hinting a smile and squeezing his hand. "I’m sorry…"

"And why?" he asked, truly amazed by such words. "I am the one who's sorry" he smiled then, "for I didn't catch you in time! You are not hurt, love, are you?"

"I know that you’ve felt set aside" she said softly. "I promised you that it wouldn’t happen… and I’m not hurt. I’m just feeling sick. There’s no need to worry…"

Faramir shook his head, leaning closer, and caressed her cheeks silently for some moments, finding that indeed he had somehow missed her during those last months. But everything was fine by then, wasn't it? Things were going to be as they used to again.

"Of course I do worry about you.. for I love you, I love you even more than before now."

"I love you too…" she smiled brightly, gently kissing his lips.

But she immediately retreated when someone opened the door, and Boromir entered the room, followed by a quite worried healer.

Some moments, and many examinations later, the old man turned to look at his lord.

"Yes, she’s pregnant. But it’s not two months. I think it’s something like three months. This is a really delicate period. She needs to rest, to be relaxed and peaceful, for she could even lose your child. Pregnant women have to be treated gently and to be cherished and protected. I’m sure you’ll manage to do it, my lord. I’ll give you some brews to help her with nausea. A servant will take them to you later".

Boromir nodded, staring worriedly at his wife and holding her hand, until he turned to look at the other man again. "I will surely manage, but I want you to check her every single day, you'll get what your due. Can you do that?"

Even before the healer could answer, Kreshen spoke. She had something to tell about the matter.

"I don’t need that" she protested. "I’ll be fine! I’m just pregnant, Boromir. Not ill!"

"Don't be stubborn now" Boromir replied, chuckling. "I know you're just pregnant, but can you do that for me? Please? Just to keep me unworried and nothing else, I know you'll be fine. What about twice a week, if not every day? Please."

"All right" she sighed after a while, crossing her arms onto her chest, the pout still there.

The healer nodded to his lord, letting him understand that he would accomplish his task, and silently left the room, allowing lord Faramir to enter it and ask how was his sister in law.

"What did he say?"

"She's probably three months pregnant" Boromir replied, as his brother sat on the bed next to her. "She needs to rest and to be treated with utmost care, and with utmost care she'll be treated. But she has to behave and deal with the healer twice every week, that's the deal."

Faramir couldn't help but grin. "Oh, I do not envy you. I've always looked with dread at healers and such people."

"But I’ll be fine!" she protested again, looking sternly at Boromir. "I’m just pregnant, I don’t need healers! I passed out for I was sick. Now I’m fine, there’s no need to see that man twice a week!"

"But you will." Boromir replied wickedly, his grin matching that on his brother's face. "You promised. And it's rude to take back a promise, now is it not?"

"Indeed it is." Faramir chuckled, "But we'll be always there at your side, so that the healer won't do horrible, unspeakable things to you. Such as torture you with his cutting instruments and then slice you off and serve you carved for dinner. Things like that, you know."

Boromir shook his head at his words, and laughed quietly. "Do not terrify her.. I don't think he'd go farther than the torturing thing anyway. You know, he uses a big huge knife for that, with shreds of the raw meat he's had for lunch still attached to it, stained with blood and who knows what else. You wouldn't really want to see that."

Scared and worried for their words, Kreshen’s face become paler than before, and she instinctively brought her hands onto her belly as if she meant to protect the little creature that was growing up inside of her.

"He will not touch us…I’ll not allow that" she then affirmed, standing up and retreating from the brothers.

Boromir and Faramir exchanged a glance.

"I suppose she still has to get used to our idiotic jokes?" the younger man muttered worriedly, while the other nodded and sighed. "Indeed."

"We were just kidding, Kreshen" Faramir smiled, nearing her almost cautiously, "I swear to you. I am sorry if it did upset you, it won't happen again."

Without a word, the girl jumped into his strong arms, allowing herself to relax and hiding her face on his chest.

"But why do you always make me feel so…stupid?" she muttered after a while, still upset and still refusing to met his gaze.

"I’ve never seen a healer at home in my village. We used to help my mother when she was pregnant. There was no one else. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do…"

"You are not stupid." Faramir said softly, lifting her chin with a finger to meet her eyes. "But we are. We've grown up here with all comforts, and.. having to deal with healers, teachers, trainers and such people has always been the norm. And we are stupid to the extent that sometimes we do not understand that most people have not been as lucky as us. I am so sorry. But we really didn't mean to upset you or make you feel stupid."

"You are not stupid" she repeated, hinting a soft smile and reaching his hand with hers.

"And I’m sorry if I’m giving you all those troubles, it’s just that maybe I’m…stressed… and nervous. I’m worried for the baby. I don’t want to lose him. I can already feel him growing inside of me. It’s…a wonderful sensation…"

"I am sure of that." Faramir whispered, moved both by the tenderness in her words and the look in her deep blue eyes. He hugged her tight, cradling her in his arms, as Boromir silently exited the room. They did deserve a little time alone, that was sure.

"I love you" she whispered back, her voice muffled for she had her head buried between his shoulder and neck. It was wonderful to be together like that, now that they were together again it seemed almost unreal to her.

"I’ve missed you so much…I really missed you…"

"I love you too. And I've missed you terribly, but we're together now." Faramir smiled, his embrace tightening as he said so. "Since you have to rest and stay quiet, why don't we lay on the bed and cuddle each other for a while? I have missed that very much, too.."

Smiling, Kreshen raised her head to look at him, taking his hand and kissing the back of it, guiding her beloved to the huge bed.

Once there, she shifted the covers, unlacing the shoes and slipping under them, waiting for Faramir to do the same.

"Hug me immediately" he chuckled, snuggling under the blankets and laying on his side to face her. "I'm in major need of cuddles, you know. And I want them right here and right now."

"Do you?" she smiled back, hugging him with fierce intensity while caressing his hair and neck, showering his face with hundreds of tiny little kisses.